On Future Propulsive Fuel

This Saturday morning's breakfast beginner recipe: Chorizo & Egg Tacos.

Ingredients:

• 4 eggs


• 2 links chorizo


• 2 huge tortillas, herb & garlic flavored

Instructions:

Cook the chorizo. I don't know if there's a shorter way to explain this, but what you do is, squirt the chorizo out of its little sausage thingy onto a skillet or whatever they're called. The thing you make hamburgers on/with. Then you apply heat until it's well above room temperature. Add cayenne and/or garlic to taste. I add cayenne and garlic to everything.

In fact, the cayenne just wasn't providing all the power I wanted so I got my dad the Spice Baron to hook me up with "the deadliest thing you have." He (seriously) made me listen to a safety lecture before he would hand me the bottles of "raw material." Nothing his company sells, just an ingredient. And the ingredient is the very essence of cayenne (fine ground red pepper, dumbasses), oleoresin capsicum, aka pepper spray. I've used it twice because the safety precautions are kind of a pain--gotta keep vegetable oil around in case you get this stuff on your skin, gotta seal the bottle back up when you use it, and damned if I can find a safe dosage. I dropped one little drop onto a hot skillet or whatever it's called, and it immediately vaporized and hit me full in the face. I was only incapacitated for a couple of seconds, but I've been terrified of it ever since. I think it raises my internal body temperature a few degrees too. In short, not a good ingredient for the summer months. I think I need an eyedropper for it, too.

Where was I? Okay. You've got the chorizo cooked. Drain the oil if there's a lot of it, otherwise it's just more tasty chorizo goodness. Then drop all the eggs in there and scramble them around in the meat. And scoot 'em around on the skillet until they're all cooked and everything. Then I guess turn the stove down to warm or whatever.

Hopefully by this point you've got some warm tortillas, "burrito" or "wrap" sized. For fellow Aggies, this is the "Regular" Freebird's tortilla size. You need two. Warm or whatever, just make sure they're flexible. Dole out the biomass into the tortilas and voila, chorizo and egg tacos.

By the way, this may cause some gas. Maybe heartburn too, if you've got a weak composition.