Drunken Lack of Debauchery

There was a party in my home "area" this weekend. Just south of San Antonio is where I'm from. I don't fit in there anymore, if ever. A goodly portion of my Vast Army of Cousins was there, including my cousin JG, the principal(ess). She turned 30 yesterday! I'm only 28, JG!

She invited me to go clubbing with her and "some people from work", aka "teachers". I hope I missed that party. Me. Clubbing. Ne'er. Then she warned me that some of the people she works with are homosexual. No way! Yes way, gay as the day is long. I don't care. Then she told me that one of her friends was the cutest little gym teacher and I would just adore her. Yes, probably. But the gym teacher's got a thing for JG. Yeah. Oh! And black guys! But I'm as white as the day is long.

I don't know why JG tells me such things. Her husband had a really odd demeanor when discussing the gym teacher. Yeah, BP, I would too. I'm wishy-washy on the whole teacher thing (young, naive, comparatively poor, good targets) but I draw the line at anything resembling a coach. A pox on them all.

Uncle Pinky, if you're reading this, I'm not talking about you.