The Annoying World of H.P. Lovecraft

So I bought me an H.P. Lovecraft book (The Doom That Came to Sarnath and Other Stories), and in short, what a pain in the ass.  Maybe I'm in the wrong mood for it.  Hard to tell.  It's good writing, as far as that goes.  Kinda like reading "critical theory" stuff, just change around a few impenetrable adjectives and have it end on a down note.  Come to think of it, just change around a few impenetrable adjective and you're there.
I shall perservere.  It's not like it was assigned reading (I hate to say it, but this is the lowest praise available for voluntary reading).  I should look for more Cthulu-based stuff.  You know, stuff that mentions the mad Arab that was eaten alive in broad daylight by an invisible demon.  If only it were that easy, huh?  Anyhow, when that's done, I've still got a big Edgar Allen Poe collection and the Iliad and the Oddysey.  So that'll be just grand.  Should keep me busy until October.  After I slog through Sarnath.
And people, if you're not watching The Joe Schmo Show 2, you're wrong. 

I Beg Thee, Sir! Quit Writing About Comics!

God this stuff is embarrassing. Please, please, please, San Antonio Express-News, stop writing about comics! I do (when so inclined) to do reviews of comic books in this very space. I know. And I give, what, one-line impressions? And it's for the whole week, not a single issue. Check out Comics Unlimited for the weekly "ship list". A few dozen comics ship every week. So even choosing ONE from a week and reviewing it kinda shorts the whole enterprise. What you're saying is: "Out of an assload of comics coming out this week, we've decided to give attention to this one. Assume it's spectacular."

Right. Look: Us nerd folk who already make the Wednesday Run don't worry much about reviews. We know 4 months ahead of time what's coming out, and even if we don't keep track the good folks at Heroes & Fantasies (In my case. Substitute "Alien Worlds", "Purple Cactus", "Collector's Authority", or "Lytle's" as appropriate. If you substituted "Lytle's", Howdy Ags!) are gonna try and sell us the good stuff anyhow. If there's anything comic shop employees are good at, it's suggesting other stuff for you to buy based on current purchases. Hell, they'll recommend stuff based on what you had for lunch if they're really in the mood. A weekly comic review in the newspaper seems like bad strategy. Especially if you're reviewing single issues in a well-established continuity.

So, you ask, What would you do, asshat? Ah. The San Antonio Express-News, for all its numerous! Glaring! Infuriating! biases, is still the only game in town. Plenty of eyeballs on it. And perhaps even more on their website, considering I don't subscribe but read MySanAntonio.com every morning. And this column has prominent placement. And I assume it's archived. Here's a brilliant chance to bring in coveted New Comic Readers. Why point them to comics that will be on a shelf for two months? I'd stick to collections, trade paperbacks, graphic novels, whatever we're calling them. When was the last time Batman: The Dark Knight Returns was out of print? Or Watchmen? Or even the first arc of Ultimate Spider-Man? Do people know comics can be like this? Vaguely, maybe. Do they know that series have been in print for yeeears without featuring a single super-hero? Not until you tell them about Preacher or Transmetropolitan. Available in trade paperback format at your local comic store or on Amazon. Check the Yellow Pages.

And there are kids. That don't read comics anymore, no matter how hard Marvel and DC try. Maybe they should stop trying, I dunno. I'd rather they not. I was really, really short when I started. But we'll assume you're trying to attract adults. What adult could give a whit about Batman/Superman, who could really give a rat's arse about Jeph Loeb? Who's Jeph Loeb? Yes, non-nerdly readers, I know who Jeph Loeb is and I seriously don't expect you to. Unless you've got Normal Mailer or Tom Wolfe in the credits, skip it in the column. Or deemphasize it. EVEN if Frank Miller wrote it. Yeah. I'm talking hard core cleansing here.

I think the first thing they told me in those jackass writing comp classes was "know your audience." Yeah, I know my audience. It consists of me and two college buddies. I think the good folk (and they are good folk and I wish I wasn't so harsh) who write this column for the E-N need to go for the wider audience. Hell, they've got the equivalent of above-the-fold on the website. Go for the full effect!

This List Is Flawed

Celiberal - The Righties is a list of ostensibly conservative celebrities, with links to "reasons why". I think it's a laudable effort, poorly executed. And there are no doubt many celebs on that list do run rightish. But a quick sample indicates that for a few too many of them, stated support of the War on Terror (or even support for the troops) is reason enough to list them as conservative.

Here's my beef: In a perfect world that exists only in my head, I'd rather folk not base their entire political worldview on this war. I'd like for them to support it and If They So Believe, also vigorously support (for example) expanded welfare benefits, Medicaid... and so forth. And be identified as leftist, and pro-war. [note, I did not say leftistbutpro-this-war]

From the left wing, even from the fairly distant left wing, there were pretty compelling reasons to invade Afghanistan and Iraq even without a compelling national interest. Which would put them on a par with the pretty vigorously-supported Kosovo war. In our perfect world feminists, homosexual activists, and professional humanitarians would have simply nodded and said, "yes indeed, remove the human debris with their boots on the necks of these folk."

Well travelled territory there. Let's just leave it there.

Us conservatives (this includes me) are quite happy to have some celebs in our ranks. I'm particularly fond of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. And we're certainly not surprised that plenty of country singers go rightward. Does not surprise us. Actors and singers, that's pretty surprising. We keep an eye on these folks. My dad almost gets teary-eyed when he talks about how great it would be if Tom Selleck took up Charlton Heston's former role in the NRA. Agreed.

The list goes on. There are truly conservative celebrities out there. Let's keep an eye on them, give them their kudos when they deserve it. Judge them on the merits of their work (so we don't generate another mediocre culture ghetto like All Entertainment Christian). But don't create new conservatives based on (ideally) politically neutral criteria. Thank them and move on.

By the way, the reason I single this page out is that it Googles first under the search term "conservative celebrities".